Go, Ratray, Go!

So, I put on the egg costume and headed down to Government Center.  I got there just as the women’s race was ending.  The MC was some horrible tall, bald  man.  He had the most hideous voice, and mind you, I am a hideous person, so that’s really saying something.  I quickly found the other mascots.  There were five!  Five!  They told me the field was full.  There was the Red Sox muppet thing, the Patriots landlord-looking-mascot, a Greenpeace whale, a random tiger, and a yellow ball.  I tried following them onto the course.  No dice.  The volunteers stopped me.  I had said that I wasn’t going to break the law to get into the race, that it was only right that I get invited, and thus, that’s what should happen.  I stood pouting, as the gate closed in front of me.

***FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE***

Boston’s most beloved mascot, His Eggcellency, has been banned from
Saturdays’ Mascot race during Hub on Wheels.  Why?  All because he
simply totally forgot to ask to be in it until the field was full.
Can you believe that?  Help correct this non-existent injustice!

When: 4:30 p.m. on Saturday the 26th

Where: The starting line on Cambridge Street

What to bring: A catchy sign saying something like “Let the egg race”
or “This is no yolk!”

So there is a mascot race during Hub on Wheels.  I have an egg costume and wanted to ride in it.  This seems like the most natural thing in the world to me.  Plus, I bet my kid would get a kick out of it.  So I wrote you-know-who to see if I could enter.  Piece of cake, right?

“Ms. Freedman-

My name is Rue Ratray.  I would like to ride in the mascot race during
Hub on Wheels.  I have an egg costume.  I will bring literally dozens
of people to see the race.  Also, my daughter is fourteen months old
and really wants to see her dad ride in a race dressed as en egg.
Surely that is an important factor to consider.  Please let me race
with the other mascots.  Sincerely,

“His Eggselency” Rue Ratray”

The next day, I got this reply….

“Your Eggselency,

Thank you for your interest in The Mayor’s Cup Race, Mascot Race. Unfortunately we have reached the maximum number of participants for this event but please feel free to come down and check out the action it should be a fun filled exciting day for all.

Erik Sjoberg

Program Manager”
Huh?  Why can’t I ride in this?  At least he called me ‘Your Eggselency’.  Guess what?  I’m riding in this race.  This has only just begun…